Showing posts with label Mumlife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mumlife. Show all posts

Tuesday, 13 October 2020

Tuesday Poem - Sleep, Where Are You?

Sleep...
Where are you?
We had such plans
I was excited
You were waiting
And the dreams,
the dreams would've been awesome.

Sleep...
Where are you?
You're so distant these days
I'm not sure why
I bought new pillows
And a heater that actually works
New PJs too

Sleep...
Where are you?
I've stopped drinking tea
So late at night
And I always use the facilities
A little light reading
To make the eyes heavy

Sleep...
Where are you?
You seem to arrive but
Then you're gone
And I'm tossing and turning
Every little sound is loud
Each one waking me more

Sleep...
Where are you?
I'm running on fumes
I'm sorry we fell out
I'll go to bed earlier
I'll stop scrolling my phone
I miss you



Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Monday, 21 September 2020

Label or No Label

Labels. No-one really likes them yet everyone tries to make sure they have the right one. But who even decides which labels are 'right'?

And what if you are the parent and are put in the impossible position of whether to label your child or not. Your own child is the most precious thing you'll ever create. You celebrate their highs and comiserate with their lows. Each of their wins is like one of your own and you spend your entire life hoping that they succeed at everything they want to achieve.

So what do you do when your child might need that extra label? The one that will make them stand out but may also help them in the long run. Do you go for it or not?

Can you ignore the comments and the snide looks from the other kids and their parents? Knowing that you won't always be there to protect your child every minute of every day. 

I'm in this position. Teetering on the edge of whether to buy my son one of these badges or not:


A big part of me feels like I shouldn't have to point out his differences, that it doesn't matter and everyone else should just accept him for who he is. But then the cynical part of my brain knows that will never happen because people don't like it when things are different. Everyone has to be exactly the same brand of sheep, no matter what.

The other thing that worries me is whether telling the other children at his school will result in more teasing and exclusion because now they have a reason. Their suspicions have been confirmed. Here is someone who is different. My heart hurts at that thought because my boy will have no ability to protect himself from that type of cruelty. 

I just don't know what to do for the best. And it's that uncertainty that clouds every single parenting decision I make. How can I be sure that I don't make the wrong decision? And who will help me fix it when I inevitably muck it up?

If I ever figure it out, I'll be sure to let you know. For now, be patient with me. 


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Monday, 25 May 2020

Half-Term Lockdown

Week 10. Week 10 of lockdown. Ten weeks of being inside with my small people. Ten weeks of homeschooling. Ten weeks. It certainly feels like a milestone, doesn't it?

In the beginning, we sort of muddled along for a couple of weeks sticking to school start time and length because the schools would be opening again after the Easter holidays, wouldn't they? We had our Easter break, didn't go and visit the grandparents but did manage an Easter egg hunt and it was alright. The kids spent way too much time on screens but it was the holidays.

Then we went back to homeschool and this time there was a lot more direction from the school website. They'd gotten serious. So we stuck to our routine, mixed it up a bit, added some extra breaks and finished a bit earlier because... you know what? Being indoors, all the time, with your kids, all the time, and having to interact with them, all the time, despite any plans you might have to do anything for yourself, they want you all the time! Screen time continues to be a big feature.

I have a day job. Yes, I might be a stay at home mum but I work as well and my work can easily fill an entire day, with no breaks from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed, late. I am not pushed for things to do. So usually half-term for me would be the resignation of knowing that I'm not going to get anything done for a week because I'll be entertaining the smalls, taking them out, visiting people, going places and having fun.

That feeling of resignation has been my constant companion since lockdown began. Together with parental guilt, varying stages of panic and worry plus a general sense of what the hell???

I have absolutely no idea what we will be doing this half-term apart from not a lot. I need a break from key-stage one maths and English. I don't want to colour-in. I don't think I could watch an animated cartoon/film if you paid me a million dollars and I cannot play another game of snakes and ladders.

But hey, it's not all doom and gloom. We've got another 7 weeks of school and then... the summer holidays!!

See you on the other side. Maybe.


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find all her books on Amazon. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Tuesday, 15 October 2019

Tuesday poem - Acronyms

I'm living in a swirl of acronyms
They flutter around my head like
a cloud of tweety birds from those old cartoons
ADD
DCD
ASD
EP
ECHP
These are the things I must get to grips with
A new language I must conquer
Research to do and things to find out
I cannot just acknowledge these letters and hope
I must uncross my fingers
And leap into this unknown chasm
How can I help? What can I do? Who needs to know what?
The fundamentals
are
the same
He is my boy and I love him
Why would that ever change?

Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find all her books on Amazon. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop. 

Tuesday, 11 December 2018

The Writer Mum

The thing about being a writer mum is guilt.

The 5am Club
Sadly not the writer's 5am club. No, this is the baby who didn't sleep through the night deciding this is the perfect time to wake up club. And so you feel guilty that you didn't get lots of writing done during that bleary hour or so before the other child wakes up.



Fish fingers and beans
Not a bad meal. But maybe not something they should be eating two or three times a week. And so you feel guilty that your children aren't eating their veggies and you feel guilty that you haven't cooked fantastic, nutritious meals every day.





Wishing for bedtime
Most parents wish for bedtime so they can have their time. You wish for bedtime so you can write. And then you feel guilty that you couldn't wait till they went to sleep. And then you feel guilty that you've left all your writing jobs until the end of the day and didn't do any in the daytime.




Having a cup of tea
Very occasionally you get to sit down and have a hot cup of tea. Maybe even catch up on a tv show you've been saving. But at the back of your mind is that little voice saying, you should be writing. And so flows the guilt.


Writing in the daytime
As a parent, there are many things you should be doing in the daytime. Cleaning, cooking, tidying and then, of course, playing with, reading to, doing crafty things with, going on play dates and so on and so on. So not only do you have the guilt that you didn't make paper mache dinosaurs today but you also have the guilt that you spent half an hour on the laptop instead of entertaining your small person.

Staying up late
Pulling an all-nighter to hit your 50k NaNoWriMo target might seem like a good idea at the time but the grumpy parental tiredness of the next day makes you think that maybe it wasn't worth it. And you have guilt for being the short-tempered, grumpy mum.



Things that help
Having an understanding partner and cute kids. Caffeine helps too, so feel free to buy me a coffee and keep me writing!


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. 
Find all her books on Amazon
Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop

Saturday, 24 November 2018

Flash Friday - Supernatural Meets Mumlife

'Leo! Come on! You need to clean your teeth! We're going to be late for school.'
'In a minute, Mum. I'm busy.'
I raised my eyebrows in disbelief at being told by my five-year-old that he is too busy to come to the bathroom and clean his teeth. Hefting my baby girl onto a slightly more comfortable position on my hip, I storm back into the front room to have it out with him.
'Excuse me? Did you just say no to me?' I ask, trying really hard not to get cross as the seconds' tick by.
'Look.'
'Look at what?'
'The TV.'
I turn in annoyance to see what stupid cartoon program is running. A pixellated face is pushing itself out of the television screen, it's mouth open, eyes screwed tight, silently screaming.
'What the...' I pick up the nearby remote and turn the set off. The face disappears. I cautiously touch the screen to make sure it has definitely gone and it's freezing cold. Leo wanders over and his breath mists as he breathes out. I realised mine is doing the same. I glance at the clock and realise it's ten past eight.
'Shit,' I huff under my breath. 'Come on! Let's go.' I grab my son's arm and pull him into the bathroom to clean his teeth.
We eventually make it out the front door and are hurrying up the street to school when a black Impala swings around the roundabout. Huh, that looks like the Supernatural car I think then dismiss it from my mind.

Forty minutes later and I am pushing the door open into my block of flats when a tall guy dressed in a cheap suit holds the door open for me.
'Thanks,' I mutter, not really looking. The inner door also swings open, this time held by a slightly shorter man, also dressed in a cheap looking suit. I glance at his face. Holy Shit. It's Jensen Ackles, better known, to me at least, as Dean Winchester. I risk looking behind me and yep, it's Jared Padalecki aka Sam Winchester.
'Wow,' I say. 'What are doing here? Are you filming?' I look around for a camera crew but can't see anything obvious.
'Filming?' Jensen frowns at me. 'I'm Special Agent Riggs, this is Special Agent Murtaugh.' He flashes me his FBI badge. 'Have you seen anything strange lately?'
'Cold spots, things moving, strange sounds. That sort of thing.' Jared smiles his puppy dog smile at me and I think my actual knees sag.
'Are you kidding me?' I ask them. 'Okay, I'll play along. Come on in, Sam and Dean.'
I catch Jensen giving Jared his best serious stare face as I walk past them pushing the buggy. At the foot of the stairs, I get my baby girl out and swing the nappy bag onto my shoulder.
'Here, let me get that,' says Jared as he picks up the buggy and begins to follow me upstairs.
I fumble a little with the keys because Jensen Ackles and Jared Paladecki are actually stood behind me, in real life, and I think I might pass out from fandom. When I finally get the door open, Jared leaves the buggy outside and they both follow me in.
'Coffee?' I ask hopefully because then I can use my Supernatural mug and see if they decide to break the fourth wall that they're obviously trying to adhere to.
'No, thanks. How do you know who we are?' Jared asks politely while Jensen wanders through the small flat. But before I can answer, he calls out from the front room.
'Er.. we've got a live one here, Sammie.'
We both go through and the apparition I saw earlier is once more trying to push its way through the television screen.
'Oh yeah, this happened this morning as well. Weird, right?' For some reason, I am ridiculously calm.
Dean, sorry Jensen, pulls out a gun and shoots at the face. It instantly dissolves and Anabelle starts crying at the loud noise.
'Hey, little one, don't cry,' Jared begins cooing at her and she soon perks up. I'm looking at the rock salt spattering my front room.
'Is it gone?' I ask.
'My advice, put this across your windows.' Jensen hands me a bag of goofer sand.
'Yeah, and call us if you see anything else.' Jared hands me a Winchester business card. 'We'll be in the country for a little while longer.'
'Men of Letters?' I ask, innocently.
Again they exchange deep and meaningful looks.
'How do you know about the Men of Letters?' Jensen asks angrily but before I can reply Castiel appears in the already crowded front room. I know he is the real Castiel because he literally just appeared in front of my eyes.
'Sam. Dean. We need to go.'
'Kinda in the middle of something, Cas.' Jensen nods at me and Castiel turns to regard me and my daughter. He looks around the room and seems to be figuring out what has happened here.
'Everything will be fine.' He says to me. 'We have to go, now.' He looks pleadingly at Dean.
I realise this is not some kind of secret filming prank. Sam and Dean Winchester are standing in my house. For real.
'You're Sam and Dean Winchester,' I whisper.
'Yes they are,' says Castiel proudly as he puts a hand on each shoulder and the three men suddenly wink out of the room.
'Bloody hell,' I say. I should have got a selfie.



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Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find all her books on Amazon. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.