Tuesday 22 February 2011


I have been full of musings lately.  Nothing of any particular length hence the quietness of the blog.  One tends to muse over small things.

Why do baths dry out your skin?  Could it be that the expanse of water is too great for the skins natural waterproofing?  Or perhaps the heat of the bath cooks you slightly and leaves you somewhat drier than before.  Does taking a bath reduce your overall hydration?  And why is it so much easier to wash your hair in the shower - what about all those people with hair before we had showers?  Or maybe hair standards were oh so very much lower then.

Why are food allergies cyclical?  Some days I can eat the chocolate, enjoy the chocolate, long live the chocolate.  Other days even the mention of the C word turns my stomach and has me dry-heaving in my waste bin.  Cows milk can mostly be tolerated in the odd cup of tea but today I feel sick as a dog after one small cup this morning.  IBS is on the rise and I can just tell that the internal spasming will be with me before very long.  Waves of nausea roll over me as I contemplate what to eat, if anything.  And yes I know, they are accumulative but do they have to bloody well accumulate today when I am fighting the worst headache I've had in forever that has currently lasted about a week and a half?? 

If we sleep for at least 7 hours a night, why then do we wake up as if no sleep has touched our brow.  As if we have been burning the midnight oil for an eternity and every day has been heralded by the earliest wake up call known to man.  Why?  What sleep demon is robbing me of my peace?  Is it just so that fellow tubist can mock me as I snooze, drool and very possibly snore on the commute into work?  Is there some great mockery plan in place?  I am actually the next contestant on The Truman Show aren't I?  *facepalm*

Whose idea was it to create a boiler that wasn't a combi-boiler?  Who actually thought that it would be a great idea to not split hot water and heating so that whenever you do want hot water you have to turn the heating on?  Why would you want to do that?  Why?

What is it about getting older that means that suddenly the skin on your hands has cracked and gone all snaggy and rough?  And why does my hairline look like it is receding?  And should I really still be getting huge red spots on my chin?  I mean honestly!!  I won't even begin to talk about the condition of my bath dried skin. 

I think the thing I am getting at the most is that I feel rubbish and I want a holiday.  Musing over, where is the holiday brochure?

Thursday 17 February 2011

Comfort Me

I willed at the banana.  Please, please, please just comfort me.  Take the place of that chocolate digestive, that slice of cake, those crisps and just ... comfort me.  I'm not even entirely sure why I need the comforting but my mind (not my brain) is telling my body that I need comfort food and I need it now!!!

The only problem is that the waistband of former roomy trousers is beginning to feel snug again and I think my memory has forgotten what a vegetable actually looks like.  I know there has been alot of blog recently about healthy regimes and wotnot - what can I say?  I didn't realise it was meant to have started yet - can I get away with that? 

My fellow comfort eaters will know that it is not necessary the wherefores and the whyfores that matter, it's more about the placing of illicit food groups into our mouths, repetitively, that usually does the trick.  Sadly all things healthy fall by the wayside, they simply will not do.  What is required here is synthetic, fat-loaded, calorie-loaded, sugar-loaded goodness to soothe the little voice in our heads that demands comforting.

There is an interesting programme on 4OD at the moment which is putting 'volunteers' through three historical diets - Victorian, Edwardian and 1920s.  It is fascinating to look at what people would go through in order to loose weight however it is the main-man that really gets my goat.  He is an eminent historian and claims that we have gotten so gargantuan because we have become a culture of fast gratification rather than taking the time to enjoy our food.  He goes on to state that we have no willpower, no control over ourselves and that we lack any kind of discipline.  I splutter indignantly at such a slur but in my heart of hearts, I can't help but agree.


Friday 11 February 2011

I'm a Jack

You ever heard that saying 'Jack of all trades, master of none'?  Well I have decided I am a Jack.  I know some of lots of things but I'm no expert in nothing.  Which is a double negative.  But the point is that I am no expert.  And it is beginning to annoy me.  I want to be the know it all at book club.  I want to win all the general knowledge quizzes in the world ever.  I want to be smart and remember everything I ever read in my Open University text books but lets be honest that is never, never, ever going to happen.  I want to be the person who remembers the names, lyrics and music to all the songs on the radio.  I want to create awesome digital art and be an HTML whizz kid and that geek who knows everything there is to know about something. 

But it seems that is never going to be the case.  I am always going to know some of most things.  I just don't have the patience/inclination to learn everything about something.  It's much more interesting to find out about lots of stuff.  It's just a little bit disheartening when you meet other people who are into the same thing and they know so so so so so so much more than you and are so so so so so much better at it all then you.  I often feel that I lack smarts in these situations but then later I get my chance to shine with a wee gem of nonsensical information that no-one in their right mind would even bother to save in their memory.

Still recently this year I have learnt the art of flat pack assembly but my screwing leads a lot to be desired (ahem), I've learnt how to cook meals for tea for two weeks using just a microwave and a George Foreman but also becoming best friends with the local Chinese takeaway and how to cook in the dark and eat in .... the dark lol! Mind you I'm pretty sure that Jack has a lot more fun than the rest of the cards in the pack ;)

Thursday 10 February 2011

Is it so wrong?

To want a £40 box of chocolates?  I know - it is.  But I really really can't get them out of my head and I wants them so.  But even I baulk at paying £40 for 35 chocolates that come in a heart shape box and will be the envy of all the other girls in the office when they arrive on your desk next Monday and each one will be rapture in your mouth and for someone with a milk allergy they will last a really, really, really long time.  That or I'll be horribly sick but you know... a heart shaped box of chocolate is so worth it.

I do however, find it discouraging that Valentines Day promotes over-indulgence as a sign that we love our partners.  This feels fundamentally wrong to me.  Firstly, one day should not be the only time that you say 'I love you' to a dear one.  And the strength of your relationship is not defined by the soppyness of the Hallmark card or the redness of the ridiculously overpriced roses.  I'm not saying it isn't nice to receive such things, I just feel that it would be nicer to get them more regularly when that feeling of overwhelming love just pours out of you and you want to do something for your loved one rather than when the corporate monster decides today is the day to say how you feel.

And what about that half of the population (admittedly women) who are still fighting the Christmas flab?  How are we supposed to keep to our healthy eating regime when society is dictating that you must eat large quantities of chocolate, drink lots of alcohol, go out for insanely large and overpriced meals and there may well be a red velvet cake included in there somewhere as well (very naughty but very nice).  What a minute.... aren't we constantly being bombarded with the concept that we must eat all these things anyway... hmmm maybe my point is lost somewhat.  Nevertheless - don't use Valentines Day as an excuse to say I love you.  Say it anyway and buy the chocolates!  teehee 

Tuesday 8 February 2011

My first Con

Now before you get all excited and think I have managed to figure out how to get my hands on millions and millions of pounds without getting caught.... it's not that kind of con.

I'm talking sci-fi convention people.  I'm talking crazy costumes, crazy people, crazy zombies and crazy weather.  In short - it was crazy.  But the thing is - the people at a sci-fi convention may well be slightly more out there than the 'normal' boring sheep of the world but do you know what?  They're friendly!  And funny!  And relaxed!  And they don't care that you just dressed up in silver spandex when you really really really shouldn't have.  If you have a love of something sci-fi chances are someone else at the con loves it even more than you do and you can geek your little self out to your heart's delight.

Some people may pooh pooh the concept of science fiction as being cool.  And yes ok the far-out-theres do give it a slightly deranged craaaazy feel BUT sci-fi is cool!  Plus you just have to ask my brain how it is recovering from all the stimulating thought processing that it had to do this weekend - What IS next for TV vampires?  What DOES count as sci-fi, fantasy & horror classics?  How DO you survive a zombie apocalypse? 

But do you know what the saddest part of the whole con was?  That I didn't have a sci-fi outfit to dress up in :(  That was a critical slip up that will have to be rectified if the con experience is to be repeated.  There were some cooooooooool outfits at the maskerade ball.  There were also some very very bad ones that burnt my eyeballs and should never be repeated in the normal world but hey normal world is dead boring so why not give it your all for one convention?  Now... where did I put that bodypaint???