Floundering In Lockdown 2.0

I don't quite know what to say. Lockdown 2.0 is here in the UK and it's only for a month. Not much has changed for me really. My husband is still going to work, my boy is still at school and yet I am in a swirly whirly pool of quicksand.

But I'm also like a jitterbug, can't sit still, can't focus, can't get to the bottom of my to-do list. I haven't even written my to-do list down, it's so long. It's like a litany in my head that rolls around and around and around. Every day I forget a new thing that I was meant to do and every day I think back to all the things I used to be able to do. I was like a machine. I got it done. 

How can I be stuck and jittery at the same time? And why do I feel like an ice cream cake that's been left out too long on the side on the hottest day of the year? Yes, I've been watching Bake Off. 

I think I need a break. It would be nice to open a door, step through and just take a time out. Of course, as a mum, that's impossible. We can never fully escape everything. 

But I have made a decision. I will be shutting down for Christmas. Sounds a bit melodramatic, doesn't it? Obviously, I won't personally be shutting down. I've got two kids so somehow I've got to find all my sparkly Christmas mojo. I'm hoping I packed it away with the tinsel. 

I feel I should be rallying more. I should be pulling out all the stops for my kids and making their Christmas as magical as possible but I just don't have the sprinkles. Maybe a little baking will help...

Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.