It's GPS now
And all the parents at home
Are scratching their heads
Trying to figure out
Present Perfect tense
I have bought more wine since homeschool began
Maths is confusing
Is it column method
Or part-part whole
Or show as equal groups
Or create an array
Or skip count
Or repeated addition
PSHE stands for...
Parents
Struggling
How to
Educate
It seems to mop up
Pretty much everything
There's a link for assembly
I'm not doing that
It's hard enough wangling
English and Maths
Guided reading and GPS
Plus Topic AND homework
(PS they're already at home #justsaying)
And why do they keep sending
Extra resources through
Are they trying to catalyse
Mass mental breakdown
I can barely get through my own work
Let alone homeschool plus extras
Mums have to eat too you know
Just take it one day at a time
One worksheet then a break
Don't cheer too loudly when you finish
Stockpile plenty of adult snacks
Be prepared to lose all your pens
For your printer to stop working
And your internet to die
It's a whole new vocabulary
And you're doing spectacularly
Poems and lists and report writing
Sums six different ways, so exciting
Make a poster, make a storyboard
Do experiments, find a dragon horde
Don't forget to go out and play
Take a breath, take a moment
School's just five days a week
Weekends are for lie-ins
Whether your kids agree or not
Just remember the washing, the cooking,
The cleaning, the food shopping
And seventeen rounds of snakes and ladders
Smile at Peppa, at Thomas and Sam
Thank Justin and Octonauts and Mr Bloom
Purple Mash and Times Table Rockstar
Zoom lessons and online tasks galore
BBC Bitesize, Horrible Histories and then
Fire up YouTube for PE with Joe
Sit down, have a cuppa, you've earnt it you know
Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.
No comments:
Post a Comment