Showing posts with label Humorous Fantasy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humorous Fantasy. Show all posts

Monday, 4 October 2021

The Bone Thief - 99p Ebook Preorder

 The Bone Thief, The Roshaven Series Book 3

AVAILABLE TO PRE-ORDER FROM YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK RETAILER - OUT 12th NOVEMBER

https://books2read.com/u/3LRkgD

The Blurb:

The Spice Ghosts have descended on Roshaven accusing Jenni of stealing their sacred bones and are threatening to destroy the city if they are not returned but Jenni the sprite has no idea what they’re talking about.

With the help of her boss, Chief Thief-Catcher Ned Spinks, Jenni promises to find and return them however the skeletal trail leads them into the dark and dangerous waters of the dread Sea Witch.

Ned is out of his depth and frantically treading water while Jenni must fight to avoid becoming catch of the day.

The Sea Shanty:


The Bone Thief is released on 12th November and eBook preorder is just 99p - get your copy here.

Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop. Never miss out on future posts by following me

Tuesday, 7 September 2021

Tuesday Poem - Sea Witch Shanty

There once was an evil witch o’ sea
Who would gladly try to capture thee
When the winds whipped up and the boat sank low
She’ll stretch her hand and strike her blow

Beware when you sail on the seas so brave
Or you’ll end up in her evil cave
Pay your tribute and pay it quick
Or you’ll be drowning in the drink

This witch o’ the sea she speaks to the dead
Never satisfied she wants your head
Collecting souls, she’s black to the core
A necromancer always after more

Beware when you sail on the seas so brave
Or you’ll end up in her evil cave
Pay your tribute and pay it quick
Or you’ll be drowning in the drink

The sea witch she did lose her lover
Never will she ever find another
She whip up a storm in the blink of an eye
And we’ll never hear your dying cry

Beware when you sail on the seas so brave
Or you’ll end up in her evil cave
Pay your tribute and pay it quick
Or you’ll be drowning in the drink

With blackened eyes and scales of green
It’s a sight you wished you’d never seen
Her smile is lined with razor like teeth
She’ll dig in her claws and sink you deep

Beware when you sail on the seas so brave
Or you’ll end up in her evil cave
Pay your tribute and pay it quick
Or you’ll be drowning in the drink

This witch rules the sea with an iron fist
And always demands sacrifice as gift
It cannot be paid with jewels or gold
Give her souls before their body grows cold

Beware when you sail on the seas so brave
Or you’ll end up in her evil cave
Pay your tribute and pay it quick
Or you’ll be drowning in the drink

Shanty taken from The Bone Thief, out November 12th, 2021. Pre-order your copy here.

Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop. Never miss out on future posts by following me

Monday, 30 August 2021

The Bone Thief - update

I am very excited, relieved and terrified to be able to tell you that the first draft of The Bone Thief is very almost finished. All I have to do is write the final closing scene(s) and I'm done. I've hit about 60K which is about right for this stage of things.


I need to add in a legend at the beginning and lots of additional scenes - the joys of being a discovery writer. But I think this method works well in the end for me because it usually adds a lot of depth to the story and makes the novel stronger. Also, I suck at plotting.

Next steps for me now are to print out the manuscript, notate all the comments from my wonderful critique group, do a chapter breakdown to see whether any chapters need to move around and create a timeline to make sure that my characters aren't trying to do everything in one day.

These bits and bobs are relatively painless. It's the next bit that requires more time and thought - the writing in of all the missing scenes. Unfortunately, this is the downside of my writing method and the reason why I print out my manuscript. It's so much easier to see all the characters and scenes if they are physically in front of you. I check individual character storylines, I check the main plot, I try to weed out all the inconsistencies and I write in all the XXX. 

XXX is a placeholder I use for the name of something that I haven't made up yet.

Then it's readthrough time to make sure the story still makes sense and I'm not missing anything further. Normally I would then put the book through ProWriting Aid which is a time-consuming process as I like to run various checks. In order to keep my brain fresh, I usually do it one chapter at a time. 

But, I played too much in the summer holidays and I am way behind my writing schedule so there is a very good chance that I will have to send the book off to beta readers before I've had the chance to put it through ProWriting Aid. For that, I can only apologise. Commas are my nemesis. 

They've all been briefed that they have a short turnaround to get the book back to me at which point I then collate all their comments and do another sweep through the manuscript making changes where needed. Then it's time for the final read-through.

At which point I will be sick to the back teeth of reading it lol. 

My favourite part of the whole process is formatting it ready for print. And with a pre-order deadline of November 12th, I need to keep my eye very firmly on the publishing ball. 

If you fancy pre-ordering a copy of The Bone Thief, you can do that here: PRE-ORDER

If you stumbled upon this blog post and have not read the previous humorous fantasy books in this series, you can catch up with The Rose Thief and The Silk Thief accordingly. Click the titles to be taken to buy links. Paperback and ebook are available from your favourite retailer. 


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop. Never miss out on future posts by following me

Monday, 23 August 2021

My First Audiobook!

Oooh it's taken a while but I can proudly announce that The Interspecies Poker Tournament is now available on audio - my first audiobook!

The Interspecies Poker Tournament is a Roshaven novella, a case file from the thief-catcher office and as such has Ned Spinks and Jenni the sprite investigating a series of murders.


Blurb

Ned Spinks, Chief Thief-Catcher, has a new case. A murderous moustache-wearing cult is killing off members of Roshaven's fae community. At least that's what he's been led to believe by his not-so-trusty sidekick, Jenni the sprite. She has information she's not sharing but plans to get her boss into the Interspecies Poker Tournament so he can catch the bad guy and save the day. If only Ned knew how to play!

The Interspecies Poker Tournament, Case 27 of The Roshaven Files, is a humorous fantasy novella following the adventures of Ned Spinks and Jenni, a prequel to The Rose Thief. If you loved Terry Pratchett's Discworld, you'll love Roshaven.

Here is a preview of the audiobook:



The Process

Oh my goodness it was a process. First I did some saving up. I bought a course on how to record your own audiobook, then a bought a mic and created a test audio file. It didn't sound great. Then I realised I had bought the wrong mic!! So a bit more saving up meant I was able to buy the right mic. 

I was recording onto my laptop from the mic through a program called Audacity. It wouldn't work. No matter what I did, how many YouTube videos I watched, articles I read and helpdesk I sent emails to - I could not get Audacity to recognise my mic. I fumed for a while. Then Microsoft did an update and voila! Amazingly, suddenly, the mic was recognised and I could record to Audacity.

It still didn't sound good. 

I bought a sound shield and the wrong mic stand, twice. I tried creating some weird umbrella based, blanket fort but still, the sound wasn't great. 

Then my good friend Kate recommended a sound guy to me, Rob Hodgkinson of Ghost Studios. He gave me some wonderful advice on set-up. I bought a mouse mat and forked out for the correct, more expensive mic stand and a shock mount. Put everything on my chest of drawers, nestled into my small wardrobe space and used an additional blanket and pillow to absorb as much sound as possible. 


Looks pretty good, huh?

And the sound quality was a huge improvement but it still wasn't as good as I thought it could be so I went back to Rob, who was now a very good email friend lol, to see if he could help. He offered to master the files. This means running them through professional sound equipment, getting rid of background noises and reducing hisses and pops. A service that has been absolutely worth every single penny. 

Once the files had been mastered I was able to upload. I uploaded direct to Findaway Voices for the wider distribution - Apple, Google Play, Kobo, libraries etc and to ACX who look after Amazon's Audible service. 

There were a few quality hoops to leap through but nothing too horrendous and then that was it. The audiobook had been uploaded. Ta-da!

You can get your copy here:



I really hope you enjoy the audiobook, I look forward to hearing what you think. I will be narrating more books in the future, starting with The Rose Thief.


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop. Never miss out on future posts by following me.

Tuesday, 25 May 2021

The Silk Thief - Chapter 1

Out on 4th June 2021, The Silk Thief is the second book in my humorous fantasy Roshaven series. Here is the first chapter for you to read and enjoy.

*****

Chapter 1

It was Griff’s funeral. Ned Spinks, Roshaven’s Chief Thief-Catcher, watched from his elevated vantage point on the upper part of the shore as the crowd congregated by the water. He scanned the throng for any suspicious behaviour. A cool sea breeze carried some freshness his way, combating the aroma caused when you get lots of individuals gathering in one place. It gave him small comfort to see such a large turnout, his own grief was too raw.

'Yor not on the clock now, Boss,’ Jenni the sprite remarked as she nodded a greeting at the Gingerbread folk. Wary of the water, they stood as far from the damaging liquid as they could without removing themselves from the ceremony.

‘Yeah, well, you know, people,’ muttered Ned.

‘Fourteen’s over there.’ 

Jenni pointed and they both stared at the elegant Imperial gazebo erected upon the Dead Pier. This was the other reason such a great crowd had assembled, and why the air hummed with animated chatter and gossip. The Emperor of Roshaven had recently revealed she was a woman, and this was her first formal event since that announcement. Unfortunate that it was a state funeral.

‘Mhm.’ Ned’s reply was as nonchalant as he could make it. He hadn’t seen Fourteen since they returned from their quest to save love and defeat the Rose Thief. After their triumphant return to the city, Fourteen had been immediately swept up by her administrators, the High Left and High Right. Every time Ned tried to get in to see her, the Highs cited important imperial duties that couldn’t be disturbed. After several tries, Ned had resolved to leave it for a while. He wasn’t certain if it were the Highs or Fourteen that were keeping him away.

‘Sparkly dress,’ commented Jenni.

Ned knew she was trying to get a response from him and his gaze flicked over again to where Fourteen stood, slightly apart from her retinue. Her short black hair framed her face and her silver gown was shining in the sun.

It relieved him when the opportunity came to change the subject as Momma K, Queen of the Fae, glided past bestowing regal smiles upon individual members of the crowd. Ned noticed he didn’t receive one and Jenni had ignored hers.

‘Things not going smoothly at home?’ Ned inquired. Jenni was the eldest of Momma K’s children, but she stayed with him in the city more often than not.

‘S’complicated.’ She was looking over at people on the pier again. ‘Who’s that talking to Norris?’

Ned decided not to push it, families were complicated, and his was no exception. Despite himself, he glanced over again at the dignitaries assembled on the pier. Fourteen was busy greeting some bureaucrat or other. There were representatives from all of Roshaven’s trade partners and a few cities they had not yet connected with. He could make out Fat Norris, otherwise known as the Lower Circle, whose responsibility it was to maintain existing trade agreements and keep them running smoothly while working on establishing new ones. He was talking to a familiar-looking man, dressed in blue. Ned squinted and then stiffened. 

‘It’s Theo.’

‘Wot, yor bruvver? Wot the ‘ell is ‘e doing ‘ere? Murderous scumbag!’ Jenni took a couple of steps in the direction of the Dead Pier before Ned stopped her.

‘Not now. He’s probably here as a trading partner. I don’t like it any more than you do, but we’ve got a job to do. We can find out what Theo’s up to later.’ Ned tried very pointedly not to look at the people on the pier. 

They had been escaping from Theo’s clutches in Fidelia when Griff had helped them get away. That help had cost Griff his life. Both Ned and Jenni blamed Theo despite the fact the actual murderer was probably one of Theo’s henchmen. When Ned had tried to find out using his official catcher authority, he’d been told that Fidelia had dealt with and executed the individual involved. Ned wasn’t sure he believed it but he couldn’t put his own city at risk, rocking the boat. Especially when Fourteen had just revealed her gender. She was the first official female Emperor. The slow wheels of progress, hampered by the brakes of tradition had not yet sanctioned the use of Empress.

Centuries ago, Roshaven had been the epicentre of a vast empire that spanned from coast to coast. It was that imperial lineage that Fourteen’s forebears had clung to, downsizing yet keeping their Imperial Palace and fighting tooth and nail to keep their crucial trading position on the coastline of Efrana. Now Roshaven was a bustling commerce city. It might not be a centre of industry, but it facilitated the shipping of both essential and luxury items up and down the coast, in particular the fine silks that were coveted throughout Efrana. It also provided the perfect location for trading vessels to restock their supplies and gain additional crew. Many of Roshaven’s trade agreements had been meticulously negotiated and arm-twisted into place by Griff. Ned hadn’t known that about his friend before he died, but it was the reason he was being honoured with a state funeral.

Ned winced. He had been trying not to think too much about the circumstances of Griff’s death.

‘It weren’t yor fault, Boss.’

‘Stay out of my head, Jenni.’

‘I ain’t reading yor fawts, I can’t do that. It’s plastered all over yor face.’

Ned sniffed and blinked. Damn sand was in his eye.

‘If it wasn’t my fault, then whose was it?’

Jenni hawked and spat.

‘I can’t ignore that Theo is my brother, no matter how much I want to. And if I don’t take responsibility for his actions, who will? I cannot call myself innocent of any wrongdoing. It was my idea to appeal to Griff for help when we needed it on our quest. And it cost him. It cost him everything.’

‘Family ain’t blood,’ replied Jenni.

‘No, but he is my brother, and it’s a debt I will never clear.’ Ned stopped speaking as the funeral rites commenced.

Pristine white wrappings concealed Griff’s body, and it lay upon a stack of firewood. There were blossoms and offerings of food pushed in-between the sticks and branches. Various runic symbols of protection and safe travels had been painted in gold around the decoratively carved canoe that held the pyre. Fourteen placed a single red rose on the torso and bowed her head in respect. She stepped backwards and the many and various priests of Roshaven chanted a simple farewell prayer, each of them dedicating it to their own deity as well as chiming numerous bells.

Ned shivered as the chanting and chimes made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

Several druids came forward to push the canoe into the water. Ned spotted Kendra, the High-Priestess among them. Their druidic incantation danced across the breeze, and he heard snatches of their melodic prayers. A sudden swirl forced them to hasten back, allowing the canoe to be taken by a gossip of mermaids. Pearl’s distinctive golden blond head bobbed above the water and Ned half-smiled to himself.

The harpies were next. They flew over the aquatic procession, scattering petals—a tender side to them Ned would never have expected. Fred, the young palace guard, led the Imperial Band in a farewell fanfare and Momma K sent a magnificent shower of silver stars shooting out across the harbour.

Ned took a deep breath. It was his turn now. 

Dipping a pitch-tipped arrow into the bowl of flames nearby, it lit with a whoosh and, taking another steadying breath, he nocked and drew, mindful not to singe himself. He could sense all eyes on him with the heavy pressure of expectation, and his arms began quivering. Focusing on the body and canoe below, Ned shakily exhaled and released his flaming arrow. The crowd watched mesmerised as it arced high over the water before landing. The pyre had been doused with scented oils both to mask the stench of rotten flesh and also to serve as an accelerant.

For a long moment, nothing happened and Ned half stretched out his hand to pick up a second arrow, but then the fire took and ran hungrily over the body. There was a collective stillness on the shore. Then the crowd began stirring, returning to their lives. Ned remained standing, watching the flames devour his friend as the canoe drifted further and further out to sea, his thoughts bleak.

‘It was a grand send-off,’ said a gentle voice behind him.

Ned flinched in surprise as the spicy, warm perfume of Fourteen wafted to his nose. He had not expected to speak to her today.

‘Are you allowed to be here?’ The question came out harsher than he meant it to.

‘I wanted to see you. Before this, I mean. But there were so many pressing matters to attend to…’ She glanced back at her entourage before trailing off into silence.

Ned could tell Fourteen was attempting to reach out to him, to reconnect, but the fact that the Highs and other officials were so close meant she had to maintain her imperial persona. A quick check confirmed Theo was not among the retinue. He scuffed the ground with his smart boots, not caring if he dulled the patent leather. He could hear Fourteen breathing beside him, but for the life of him, he couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t come out snippy. And he didn’t want to be like that. Not with her.

‘Have you ever fired a funeral pyre before?’ asked the Emperor.

‘No, Your Eminence, I haven’t.’

‘You did a superb job, I’m very impressed.’

Ned turned to look at his Emperor but misjudged his footing and knocked over the fire bowl. He and Jenni spent several tense moments frantically stamping out the flames. Somewhat out of breath, Ned attempted to reclaim his cool.

‘Perhaps I could visit soon. If you think it would be possible?’ He smiled to soften the words. He wasn’t trying to be argumentative, and he did want to spend some time with her.

A High cleared his throat and cast his eyes meaningfully towards the imperial coach that was waiting to take Fourteen back to the palace.

Fourteen didn’t reply, but she touched one of Ned’s hands briefly before returning to her retinue.

‘That went well,’ he murmured.

‘It weren’t that bad. At least she came and said allo. S’more than you’ve ‘ad in a while,’ Jenni said as she gathered up the bow, spare arrows and the now-empty fire bowl which she handed to Ned. ‘It takes two to wotsit but you gotta keep trying I reckon.’

Ned threw her a half-smile as they headed back into the city together.

‘Thanks. Oh, and thanks for the assist by the way.’

‘For wot?’

‘The flaming arrow?’

‘Nah, Boss. That weren’t me and it weren’t Momma K neiver. All youse.’

Ned tucked his chin in, trying to suppress a grin. He’d done it, he’d given his friend the tribute he deserved. He waved a hand over the virtually empty shoreline they were leaving.

‘You don’t think all this was too much?’

‘For Griff?’ Jenni scoffed. ‘E would’ve wanted more, more, more, I reckon. You knew ‘im better than me, wot do you fink?’

‘I think you’re right. He would have wanted a bit more, more, more.’ They strolled on in silence for a few beats. ‘Good turnout though, wasn’t it?’

‘Not bad. Wot we gonna do about Theo then?’

‘We’ll keep our eyes open, check out anything suspicious that we hear of. Hopefully, he’s already on his way out of Roshaven.’ Ned hoped his brother wasn’t planning to hang around.

‘We ain’t gonna arrest him?’

‘Not today, Jenni. He hasn’t committed a crime in Roshaven. Yet.’

‘Hmm, if you say so, Boss. I reckon we could arrest ‘im for summink if we looked ‘ard enough.’

‘You’re probably right.’ They had reached a crossroads. One way led to The Noose, Thief-Catcher HQ and disreputable tavern, the other towards Ned’s home.

‘Not going to the wake, Boss?’ asked Jenni as Ned took a step away from The Noose.

‘You can if you like. I’m gonna call it a day. Not been sleeping well.’

‘Rightyoucha Boss.’

‘Here, take this back to the office first with that other stuff.’ Ned handed Jenni the fire bowl to go with the bow and arrows she was carrying. They kept their thief-catcher weaponry locked up at HQ.

‘Awright Boss. Sees you later.’ With half a wave Jenni peeled off, heading for The Noose and what would be a raucous wake.

Ned trudged on home, hoping that his nightmare would let him sleep tonight.

*****

Get your copy of The Silk Thief here.


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop. Never miss out on future posts by following me.