I had a bit of a surreal conversation yesterday. Someone asked me the inevitable question - 'How's the writing?' I took a moment. And said the following. This is verbatim.
'Yeah' with a nod. 'Yeah' with a sigh. 'Yeah' with a nose wrinkle and a shrug. 'Yeah' with that deep sinking feeling that actually you've got nothing to say.
I have always prided myself on being able to make sparking conversation. Case in point.
But it's true. I have nothing to say because I've done nothing. And I feel so guilty about having done nothing that I feel like I can't do anything anyway. The human brain has the most amazing capacity to stand in its own way. In true immovable force, unstoppable action style.
It's weird because if I wasn't performing at work I would have been pulled into the MD's office and given a solid talking too with the threat of lost income dangling over my noggin. Seeing as I don't actually have any income and I am my own boss, I'm more likely to invite myself in for a cup of tea and a freshly baked cake.
However, not all is lost. There is still a month until competition deadline, which in my head means I don't have to write anything for another three weeks. I did jot down an idea yesterday. And I've started dreaming again - always a good sign of a fresh and fertile mind. The toddler in the night time has morphed into the toddler who wakes fresh as a daisy on the nose at 6am so I can't really complain about that anymore. Plus, it's writer's workshop tomorrow so if nothing else I should feel motivated to write another blog post.
And - just in case you hadn't noticed - I refreshed my blog. And yes that's me. Drinking tea and eating cake!