Guilty Of A Cold

The past week, I've had a humdinger of a cold. A real blinder. Knocked me off my feet and made me feel dreadful. Raging sore throat and muzzy headache, sore nose, runny nose, blocked nose, sore mouth, cracked lips, couldn't drink tea for a while and now I've got the thick phlegm and the cough so it's finally cruising through the final stages but... I've felt weird having it.

This is the first cold I've caught since lockdown and covid. The first bit of illness I've had in a year and a bit and that's why I think it's knocked me sideways so much. But it's also the first cold I've caught since lockdown and covid. And I feel guilty. 

I feel guilty for feeling so poorly and wanting to moan about it on social media when other people are suffering horrendously with corona and sometimes losing that battle. How can I even? I feel guilty for mentioning it to people I know who have had covid and are still coping with the various after-effects. I am lucky, I haven't had it. All I've got is a cold.

It got me thinking that I shouldn't mention it and I should carry on regardless. Just like we don't mention the shitty stuff that happens in life all the time on our social media because we're always trying to be awesome and amazing. I shouldn't mention it when others have it so much worse just like I shouldn't talk about having a job or somewhere to live when others have lost these things through the lockdown. And maybe I shouldn't talk about my kids when other people can't even have babies. Or my parents. Siblings. Mobile phone. Laptop etc etc. 

The thing of it is, if you're going to think yourself guilty, you will always be guilty of something. Always. Guilt is this made-up emotion that we humans torture ourselves with because we think we can't feel good (or bad) about something. 

You can. You can feel whatever you want about stuff. Even if that feeling is no real feeling at all. 

And I'm going to try and stop being guilty of having a cold and just own it. Although someone else can have the mucus if they like. 

Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.