Anti-climaxing

Not quite as much fun as it sounds to be honest.  The 'big day' was awesome BTW and seeing everyone was always a pleasure never a bind.  But then the following day was more quiet than quiet can be and nothing happened, nothing was occurring and I don't even think that anything was breathing.  You could have heard the pin dropping through air molecules let alone the actual impact.  Very much an anti-climax.

Monday morning work was as you would expect but imagine my shock, surprise and delight when I realised that I had a half day due to hair cuttage.  Probably the best news one can have on a Monday especially when it has slipped your mind.  So excitement builds and the momentuos occasion arrives, I trill byeee as I skip, hop and jump out of the door into a hairdressers chair for 4 hours!!!  And I think they cut it too short and instead of copper it looks... orangey.  Very much an anti-climax.

Mind you the day can get better surely.  I was not looking forward to the man's choice of date-night movie.  Battle Los Angeles and have anti-climax already however, it shone with American masterfulness.  Once again the Marines were the only ones who could save the day and only once the man who wasn't meant to be in charge took charge and overcame all his personal odds to ensure his men (and 1 Hispanic lady, covering all bases) followed him loyally and saved the day.  I'm sure you know the drill.  And yes there was a child, a dog and a pregnant wife who lost her bloke.  This was a case of anti-climax being ... climaxed?  I'm not sure of the exact terminology, suffice to say it was much better than I thought it was going to be.

And so and so, we move to Tuesday.  Tired, battled scarred (from a cinema lasting memory point of view), hungry, stifled from a three hour meeting in which you are not expected to contribute one single iota and we are back to being anti-climactic about life, the universe and everything.  But guess what kids?  I'm going for a run tonight, if I win the fight with the lazy couch potato head voice, and apparently all kinds of endorphins will surge through my body causing happiness to ooze from every pore.  A fitting end to these last few days. 

Nothing to wear

Tomorrow is a big day.  It's a huge day.  It's a day to eclipse all days that came before and those that will follow afterwards.  A day of importance, of solemnity, of Chinese food - it's big people.  It's the day my Mum meets the new man and I have nothing to wear.

This is the problem with losing weight, if anything you become even more body conscious then you were before and all those big baggy clothes that you used to schlep around in and threw out in a fit of 'I'm skinny now' are no longer lurking at the back of the wardrobe waiting to for you to drape yourself in their vastness so you can hide.  So what to wear?  Those new clothes that you bought are still feeling a bit tight, a bit clingy, a bit ooh er missus and I'm not sure whether they should be worn in public (if at all) so perhaps jeans is the way forward.

But you don't really have the figure for jeans because you are between sizes (which is what you keep telling everyone) so the ones you have at the moment are saggy in the butt area and you are constantly hitching them up in a terribly ladylike manner and the hem at the bottom is all raggedy and torn but you know.. they are jeans.  Still.. it's a big day.  Will jeans really cut it?  Plus you have to wear a t-shirt and you've lost your Karate Kid t-shirt (who stole it??) so that means you have to go with either 'meh' or Back to the Future -both valid life choices but honestly you do look a bit scruffy and aren't you a bit old to be lounging around in tatty old jeans and t-shirts?  OMG I just had my first almost 30 panic attack....and breathe... and breathe.

Ok, ok so jeans are out.  Wear trousers and a jumper, like you do for work, so you look like you are at least 10 years older then you actually are and you feel like you are going to work - that place that you try to avoid even when you are there.  No, no, I'm not sure that the formal look is going to work.  Sequins?  NO.  Short - NO!  Come on now, it's not that difficult - you are meeting your mother, who you have known your entire life, with your new man in tow.  Crivens!  Ok, ok, think, think - weight loss has been slow lately, unlikely that you've magically slimmed down to the next size overnight plus there was that custard tart...mmmm - hey - focus!  Right - big day, nothing to wear.

So, here's a crazy idea - go shopping for something new, today, the day before the big day.  On your lunch break, which is only an hour, on Regent Street/Oxford Street, which is right besides your work and extremely expensive.  You picked that money up didn't you?  D'oh!  Hmmmmmm - do you know what?  I think it's time for a cup of tea and dang it all a biscuit, clothes are clothes, they don't make the person and your mum and your fella love you just the way you are!

Daddy or chips?

Do you remember that advert? 










Isn't it funny how we are often asked to choose between one thing and another - why can't we like them both equally?  I like healthy food and bad for you food so why can't I eat both?  Giggle

But on a serious level, sometimes things that we want are not good for us and we really shouldn't have them.  Even more confusing are the things that we think we want that are really really not good for us and instead of avoiding them like the plague we run towards them.  These things can destroy our lives especially when they go bad.  The crucial thing is to be able to look back and say - this was not a good thing but now I'm over it and life has moved on.

The best thing about choices is that if you make the wrong one, in theory, you have the ability to make the change you need to.  However, if you have made the wrong choice over and over again - you begin to doubt your ability to know what the right choice for you actually is and it can seem that maybe all the good things you have found for yourself could disappear in the blink of an eye. 

Self-doubt is probably the most destructive emotion that the human race ever discovered, named and kept close to their bosoms.  It can destroy a person from the inside out whether it be at work, at home, within a relationship or devastatingly within their entire persona.  Listen to your insides - if it feels right then it is.  If there is even the slightest waver of 'I don't know' then you have a decision to make.  One that is slightly more weighty than Daddy or chips.

A serious blog topic that many might think represents the grasshopper's frame of mind.  To this, all I can say is it used to but now I have the Daddy and the chips.  Life is good x

Try, try, try

I was never allowed to give up.  As a small child the whine 'But I can't' was met with, "There's no such thing as can't."  And whilst I must admit I am human and I do give up from time to time, I never stop trying.  Trying to achieve something is part of what makes us human.  We may try to make our loved ones smile, we may try to save up for that summer holiday or we may try to get in shape for a special event.  I guarantee that everyone who reads this blog is trying to do something.

Without try there would be no success.  We may fail at the first hurdle, we may stumble at the second and we may throw the towel in at the third but most of us will come back again for another beating.  Never let it be said that Homo sapiens wasn't a trier.  It does us good to have goals - be they easily achieved in the eyes of some people or hopelessly unattainable in the lifetime of others - a goal will give you focus, give you an end point, send you whispers of a prize.

The people we meet on our path of life will be many and varied.  Some of them will make us want to try and move away...fast!  Others will make us want to be better versions of ourselves, to strive for greatness.  There are some that will make us try not to end up 'like-that' and others who we will look at wistfully trying not to be too jealous.  I think it is good to have a fire lit beneath your bones - whether it is to make sure that something does not happen or to make sure that it damn well does, the trying is the important part.

If you never try, how can that achievement be met.  If everything is handed to you on a golden platter and you never have to lift a finger to greatness then nothing you have will be worthy and all you will have is a hollow shell.  I don't want that. I would rather cry, weep, bleed and rail at the fates as I try to reach my goals then have someone say oh hey, here you go.  I want to know that I did that - that was me - I am, in this moment, greatness.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

That is the noise the doorbell at work makes.  It is loud and high-pitched and lasts for quite a long time.  The front door is locked so whenever you hear eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you need to leap up (ahem) and go answer the door.  Usually to people who sweep in without a by-your-leave, the usual comment is 'tut' and sigh because they have had to wait a few seconds for the door to be opened for them by polite, smiling staff. 

It's Monday morning.  There are two meetings.  Sum total of about 100 people.  Who all arrive separately.  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!  And people wonder why Monday's are not good days lol

I had a hot cross bun this morning.  Disappointing.  The hot cross buness is not as ness as it used to be.  I'm not sure why - the tops don't seem as sticky, the dough isn't as doughy and the spices are just not there.  I used to love a hot cross bun, now I think I'll just avoid their mass-produced staleness and have a nice home-made fairy cake.  Ahhh the fairy cake.  So simple, so quick, so delightful in its appearance and so tasty in the eating.  It really is the princess of all cakes - they make you smile to make them, decorate them and eat them.  You even smile in the memory of them.  Happy cakes indeed.

The sun is shining today and even though it is a Monday and even though my thought process is being disturbed every one and a half minutes or so with a high pitched eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee that smile is still in place and I think that is a great sign of what the day, and possibly even the week ahead has to offer :)


Hot cross buns - hot cross buns
One a penny, two a penny
Hot cross buns!