Tuesday, 30 June 2020

Tuesday Poem - Head Aches

I've got the headaches
Is it my brain?
Stress? No sugar?
Too much sugar?
Is worrying about what it is making it worse?
Man alive
I've got the headches

It's pulsing and burning and zinging like mad
Sitting heavy over my eyes
Making them want to close down in darkness
It's in my ears, down my neck, across my jaw

I could need sleep, I could need tea
It might be chocolate or some yoga
A few deep breathes, a cold flannel
Maybe a massage, turn off the lights
An early night and no 5am wake up
A tick on every to-do box - ha!
That one will never happen

It's settling in now, taking root
The headaches have got their claws into me
It will squat like a pain toad 
Not letting up, not letting go

I've got the headaches...


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Monday, 29 June 2020

Virtual Beaver Camp

This past weekend I became a Beaver Leader and ran a virtual beaver camp for my son. I will take the woodland name of Hedgehog.

We had seven activity zones to enjoy and a multitude of events to enjoy. This hedgehog encouraged her beaver (and small hodgepig) to have a go at the following things:

International Zone
 - make onion bhajis (these were so good I shall be saving the recipe)
 - play semut orang gahjah game (Indonesian version of rock, paper, scissors)

Snack Zone
 - make chocolate mousse (hodgepig  thought this was beyond delicious)
 - make honeycomb (it didn't work)
 - make pizza in a mug (beaver enjoyed making but refused to eat)

FAB Zone
 - make a peace dove
 - design a positive message to yourself & other beavers
 - paint positivity pebbles

Science Zone
 - make a sugar sparkler (it takes a few days...)
 - make magic snow (it was awesome)
 - make puffy paint (really messy)
 - make a lava lamp (super cool)

Creative Zone
 - draw a picture of your favourite Beaver activity Michelangelo style (upside down)
 - make a stick raft

Adventure Zone
- do some yoga
- play Don't Clap This One Back rhythm game
- iron & fold your beaver scarf

Outdoor Zone
- play spot the difference game
- bake a banana dessert
- sing campfire songs (Cecil the Caterpillar is MY friend)


This hedgehog is ready to hibernate!


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Wednesday, 24 June 2020

A Slice of Cake With... Amelia Hendrey

This week I am delighted to be having a slice of cake with Amelia Hendrey.

What kind of stories do you write?

I wrote a story about my life, throughout the book are genuine social services documents, a police interview and conviction which has never been done before.

Can you describe your writing why?

People motivate me to write, showing the world things they may not know, educating them.

Share with us your favourite passage from the book you enjoyed writing the most

I don’t have a piece I enjoyed writing the most. The fact I can give my book to a person who wants to read it, that’s my favourite part of the book journey.

Tell us a little about your book

My book is a true story about my life. The first chapter I’m 3 years old and walking through a town centre with my mother and it’s Market day, I hold her hand a little tighter because of the bustle it makes me nervous. We come to a clearing, she crouches down to me and says I’m just going in that shop I’ll be back in a minute. She doesn’t return.


What is your favourite cake?

My favourite cake would have to be chocolate brownie, every time. With or without ice cream or custard, I’m not fussy.


You can connect with Amelia on Facebook.

Join me next week when I interview Mercy Hollow.

If you would like to take part in A Slice of Cake With... please fill in the form found here. I'd be delighted to have you.

You can also support my writing endeavours and buy me tea & cake - it's what makes the world go round!  


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Tuesday, 23 June 2020

Beach Day

Can we go to the beach he begged
Roping in his sister to plea
My husband and I looked and hedged
Is the beach the safest place to be?

We'll go later, another day for sure
There were tears, tantrums and screams
Living so close the beach is a lure
At first it seemed like a dream

But people flock on a sunny day
And gather with towels and deckchairs
Because it's always been this way
Some might say it's not very fair

The people who live by the coast
Must deal with the traffic and trash
That pile up sadly the most
Where the tourists often crash

And with covid closing office and schools
The summer sun shining down so bright
No-one can go splash in the swimming pools
Staking a claim on the beach is their right

So don't get too close to another group
Keep your distance down there on the sand
Or we'll all be wearing a hazmat suit
And visits to the coast will be banned


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books at her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Monday, 22 June 2020

Forgetting Things

It was Father's Day yesterday and I forgot to send my fathers a card. I am lucky, I have three - the original, my step-dad and a father-in-law. I forgot every single one.

I knew it was Father's Day. I remembered to get my husband appropriate cards and gifts from our children and I'm pretty sure I offered to make a cup of tea (even if I didn't actually make any, that's his job). 

In my head, everything was sorted and it wasn't until I was cleaning the bathroom yesterday that I realised with shock horror that I hadn't sent anybody a card. In order for cards to arrive, I have to actually buy them - write them - post them. And for some unknown reason, I missed that entire stage.

I think it has a lot to do with my lockdown mentality. I am a stay-at-home mum and a natural indoorsy person although I love nature. I know, I'm a complicate conundrum. Anyway, being at home all the time, for me, isn't that big a change. What was really different was popping to the shops, dropping cards in at the post office after the school run, nipping into town to pick up some socks for the kids etc - all those incidentals that you don't really think about, I couldn't do them anymore.

And so I moved what I could online but a lot of things just fell to the wayside because either I couldn't get food shopping delivery OR I was refusing to pay the ridiculous price wanted for things. I usually get my kids clothes from Primark because they grow like weeds and they ruin things so quickly - why would I pay an arm and a leg for that?

Posting cards is one of the things that fell away. I relied instead on direct delivery packages from Amazon and video messages from my suitably primed children who can, on occasion, be super cute. But this Father's Day? Not a sausage.

It was with cap in hand that I messaged, rang and asked hubby to apologise to the various father figures. It won't happen next year, I promise! 

Unless we're under lockdown again...


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books at her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Wednesday, 17 June 2020

A Slice of Cake With... Derek Borne

This week I am delighted to be having a slice of cake with Derek Borne.

Derek is a Canadian author of Sci-Fi novels. When he's not writing, he spends time with his lovely wife and moody bearded dragon Ziggy (She's always looking at Derek like he's an idiot). Other times, he's eating pizza, belting out Broadway show tunes, playing guitar, eating pizza, watching anything to do with Marvel superheroes, and making movie references daily. Oh, and eating pizza. And for added emphasis...... pizza. 

What kind of stories do you write?

I write books with superheroes and science fiction! So far there are 8 books within my superhero/spy series, The Ultimate Agent, and I’m working on other sci-fi ideas as well that will hopefully be coming out in 2020!

Can you describe your writing why?

To be completely honest, when I was younger, I loved writing for the pure joy of it. Now that I have published work, the wanting to make more $$$ with them has crept in here and there. At the end of the day, I get back into the groove of just writing for the sake of writing. If people enjoy what I put out into the book-world, that’s what makes it all worth it.

Share with us your favourite passage from the book you enjoyed writing the most

You’re going to make me choose?? Fine…

Excerpt: Chapter 1 of The Ultimate Agent

“Thanks, I’m Devon, by the way. What’s your name?”
“Um, it’s Brett,” the blond man said as they shook hands. His cool blue eyes, coupled with his smile, conveyed a sense of wonder and adventure. Close to the same height as Devon, he had a bit more of a slender physique.
“Nice to meet you, Brett. What brings you to Washington?” Devon’s social side took over.
Brett hugged the duffle bag closer to his body. “Just one of the places on my bucket list. Yourself?”
“Pretty much the same. I just love to travel. I’m thinking maybe Italy next, or wherever the winds take me.”
“Ah, yes. I’m, uh… I’m kinda going by the same philosophy.” Brett cocked his eyebrow for a split-second. Glancing to the left, he caught sight of eight men casually approaching the opposite end of the bridge, all dressed in suits.
“We’ve got him spotted,” one of the men said into his watch with a discreet scratch of his sideburn. His earpiece blended in with his ear, barely visible to the public eye.
“Don’t make a scene,” the man on the other end cautioned. “I’m counting on you.”
“We’ll get him, don’t worry.”
The suited man led his group onto the Arlington Bridge. Their pace quickened as they headed toward the target.
Brett was their mission.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Brett suggested with a gentle grasp of Devon’s arm. “Wanna spend the day together? We could be each other’s photographer.”
“Um, maybe?” Hesitant, Devon noticed the guy he’d just met seemed spooked. When he glanced in the direction Brett had, Devon saw the suspicious group of suits. That doesn’t seem good. His eyes bounced back to the man standing before him. Who is this guy?
“Great! I even know of an authentic Chinese restaurant for lunch. That is if you haven’t eaten,” Brett proposed with a charming grin. “I guarantee you dumplings that will change your life. What do you say?”
Devon had no idea of how to respond. But something about the man intrigued him. Is he being genuine, or is he in trouble and needs help? In the matter of seconds, he said, “Sure, I gue...”
“Fantastic!” Brett flashed his winning smile once more. As he led his new friend away from the bridge, his duffle bag bounced off his side.
In a somewhat hurried stroll with Brett, Devon had no idea where his newfound friend was taking him or why he’d even asked him to tag along. He wondered if he might be able to get some sort of answer. “Everything all right?”
“Fine.” Brett sounded rushed, almost agitated. “I’m fine. Keep up, bud.”
“Um, okay….”
Brett’s brisk walk progressed into an even faster pace. He turned his head, catching sight of the men in suits still following behind them.
Stalking them. 
Brett guided Devon by the arm over to a parked double-decker tour bus.
“He’s behind the bus!” The man directing the group broke into a run as their target boarded the bus. The tourist vehicle merged onto the main street.
“We’ve lost him, sir,” the leader reported to his superior, slowing to a stop to catch his breath. “He boarded a bus with a civilian I’m guessing he’s befriended.” He cleared his throat, followed by a deep breath. “Haven’t ID’d the civilian. I’ll get Agent Phipps to pull up the tour schedule.”
“Follow them.”
The suited man tugged on the cuff of his shirt, starting to doubt if their mission would be successful. “Bring the cars up, boys. Let’s get ‘em.”

AND SCENE!



Tell us about your latest project

Depending on when this interview is posted, I am releasing/have released an anthology of 6 of my short stories where my superhero-spies encounter monsters, myths, and legends with a scientific angle. It’s called “The Helios Files”, and takes place between Books 1 & 2 of The Ultimate Agent series. I’m excited for people to see what I’ve done with Bigfoot, the Mothman, the Loch Ness Monster, the Michigan Dogman, a Kraken, and a Minotaur! 



What is your favourite cake?

Cake’s aren’t really my thing. I’m more of a pie guy, so I’d have to say a pizza pie 😉 But if we’re going with the sweeter kind, I’m going with a lemon meringue pie!


Thanks Derek, lemon meringue is an excellent choice of pie. You can connect with Derek all over the place!


Join me next week when I interview Amelia Hendrey.

If you would like to take part in A Slice of Cake With... please fill in the form found here. I'd be delighted to have you.

You can also support my writing endeavours and buy me tea & cake - it's what makes the world go round!  


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books on her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Monday, 15 June 2020

Some Numbers

We are in our 13th week of lockdown here in the UK, although now we can share bubbles and restrictions seem to be easing. Shops opening and social gatherings now acceptable provided you maintain social distancing. So... not much different in my life.

Things my kids like to do - play at the park, walk on the pier, go to the beach, ride on the train, eat out at their favourite restaurant, swimming, visit family & friends - all things we can't do very easily at the moment for various reasons. Kids don't really get social distancing, the pier is shut, everyone is at the beach, I have to wear a face mask on the train and it freaks me out so god knows what the kids will think, their favourite restaurant is shut, we can't go swimming and I don't have a car.

This week I will have completed 13 weeks of PE with Joe. Like him or not, he's got me moving five days a week and when he stops doing Monday-Friday this week I'm going to pick up my fear and start walking outside again, 10,000 steps a day. I did when I was six months pregnant, I should be able to do it with a dodgy knee (still waiting to find out what's wrong with it.)

I am currently on day 65 of my 30-day yoga challenge.

There are only 4 weeks left of homeschool (hooray!)

There will be 7.5 weeks of school holidays in which we do have a holiday booked but... will we get to go? 

I have just under 20k written in my next novel so there's at least another 50k to go and a whole lot of dedicated procrastination talent just ready to shine.

Daily wordcounts will be in my future whether I like it or not.

At least I'm not counting calories. 


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find out more about her books at her website clairebuss.co.uk. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Wednesday, 10 June 2020

An Extra Slice of Cake With... Tim Walker

This week I am delighted to have an extra slice of cake with Tim Walker.

Tim Walker is an independent author living near Windsor in the UK. He grew up in Liverpool where he began his working life as a trainee reporter on a local newspaper. He then studied for and attained a degree in Communication studies and moved to London where he worked in the newspaper publishing industry for ten years before relocating to Zambia where, following a period of voluntary work with VSO, he set up his own marketing and publishing business.

His creative writing journey began in earnest in 2013, as a therapeutic activity whilst undergoing and recovering from cancer treatment. He began writing a historical fiction series, A Light in the Dark Ages, in 2014, following a visit to the nearby site of a former Roman town. The aim of the series is to connect the end of Roman Britain to elements of the Arthurian legend, presenting an imagined history of Britain in the fifth and early sixth centuries.

His new book, published in June 2020, is Arthur, Rex Brittonum, a re-imagining of the story of King Arthur (book five in the series). It follows on from 2019’s Arthur Dux Bellorum, the story of young Arthur (book four in the series), that received recognition from two sources in 2019 - One Stop Fiction Book of the Month in April, and an honourable mention in the Coffee Pot Book Club Book of the Year (Historical Fiction) Awards. The series starts with Abandoned (second edition, 2018); followed by Ambrosius: Last of the Romans (2017); and book three, Uther's Destiny (2018). Series book covers are designed by Canadian graphic artist, Cathy Walker. Tim is self-published under his brand name, timwalkerwrites.



Tim has also written two books of short stories, Thames Valley Tales (2015), and Postcards from London (2017); a dystopian thriller, Devil Gate Dawn (2016); Perverse (verse and short fiction, 2020); and two children's books, co-authored with his daughter, Cathy - The Adventures of Charly Holmes (2017) and Charly & The Superheroes (2018) with a third in the pipeline – Charly in Space.

Describe the types of books you love to read.

I love to read British historical fiction and crime thrillers. I also read a lot of history books about the periods in which I’m writing my historical fiction.

Which authors inspire you to write?

My literary heroes/heroines are Hilary Mantel; Bernard Cornwell; SJ Parris; John Grisham. I love Hilary Mantel’s use of language, SJ Parris’s passion for her main character, and I admire the storytelling expertise of Cornwell and Grisham.


Since we last had a slice of cake, what have you been working on? 

I have been writing poems and flash fiction for performance at an open mic night in a pub in my area, once a month. After two years of this, I found I had enough verse and short fiction to put out a collection in lockdown. Perverse came on April Fool’s Day, and has amused a few readers…



What is your new project? 

My new book is Arthur Rex Brittonum, book five in my ongoing historical series, A Light in the Dark Ages.

Here’s the blurb:  Arthur Rex Brittonum (‘King of the Britons’) is an action-packed telling of the King Arthur story rooted in historical accounts that predate the familiar Camelot legend. 

Britain in the early sixth century has reverted to tribal lands, where chiefs settle old scores with neighbours whilst eyeing with trepidation the invaders who menace the shore in search of plunder and settlement.

Arthur, only son of the late King Uther, has been crowned King of the Britons by the northern chiefs and must now persuade their counterparts in the south and west to embrace him. Will his bid to lead their combined army against the Saxon threat succeed? He arrives in Powys buoyed by popular acclaim at home, a king, husband and father - but can he sustain his efforts in unfamiliar territory?  It is a treacherous and winding road that ultimately leads him to a winner-takes-all clash at the citadel of Mount Badon.

Arthur Rex Brittonum picks up the thread from the earlier life of Arthur in 2019’s Arthur Dux Bellorum, but it can be read as a standalone novel.




Have you recently tried any new cake? What was the last cake you baked? 

I don’t bake, but I bought a cheesecake with mandarine oranges around the top! It was divine.


You can connect with Tim here:


Join me next week when I'm interviewing Derek Borne.

If you would like to take part in A Slice of Cake With... please fill in the form found here. I'd be delighted to have you.

You can also support my writing endeavours and buy me tea & cake - it's what makes the world go round!  


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Discover her books at www.clairebuss.co.uk and join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.


Tuesday, 9 June 2020

Tuesday poem - More Tea!

I need more tea
It's my earnest plea
With fuzzy head
I yearn for bed
But still I must rise

I need more tea
To get through you see
The day stretches on
It feels so very long

I need more tea
Even though it makes me pee
To wake me up
So I can drink another cup

I need more tea
To hold upon my knee
Whilst teaching key stage one
And making it lots of fun

I need more tea
And get it for free
When the kids have gone to bed
And hubby makes it instead

Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Discover her books at www.clairebuss.co.uk and join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.


Monday, 8 June 2020

Books read in May

Barefoot on the Beach by Katlyn Duncan - 3 stars

Recap: Renee's younger sister is getting married and dumps all the organising on Renee's plate. Then her first love reappears and she doesn't know what to do about it.

Review: I liked the ending and the misunderstanding. I thought the sister relationship and dynamic was great and the sister's friends were portrayed well. Renee came over a bit odd - we kept being told she was so organised and OCD and no fun and then we'd get that she was massively promiscuous and she dropped all her plans just like that so it was hard for me to reconcile that. Dialogue was good and the slow burn between Luc and Renee worked. I came away thinking yeah, that was alright.





The Little Paris Bookshop by Nina George - 5 stars

Recap: Jean Perdu runs a literary apothecary and senses which book will heal the troubled souls of his varied customers.

Review: There's so much pain in this book and it's healed by stories, food and nature. A wonderfully eccentric novel with such a charming Frenchness to it that I want to rush to book my own French river cruise trip in the hopes that I will meet Salvo and Samy, Max and Jean. This is a grief-story not a love story which is why the romance is so powerful. You will come away with tears and fondness.

Imogen's Secret by B Fleetwood

Recap: Imogen can see emotional colours and knows she different but she has no clue just how different.

Review: I found the double names confusing at times and the need for that secret brother seems to just add unnecessary complication at the moment but I'm hoping that will resolve in the next book. I liked Imogen, she was personable with realistic emotional responses. I hope her mum get a bit more stage time in book two, crazy people are fun to read lol. There's the predictable love triangle and some secondary characters which will hopefully return, I liked the autistic lad. There's a bit of POV head-hopping which I wouldn't normally be thrown by but I'm currently writing/editing myself so it stood out. An enjoyable book one, let's see what happens in book two!


Wednesday, 3 June 2020

A Slice of Cake With... Christian Warren Freed

This week I am delighted to be having a slice of cake with Christian Warren Freed. 

Christian W. Freed was born in Buffalo, New York more years ago than he cares to remember. After serving a full career in the United States Army that took him around the world (several times), he retired to the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina where he lives with his wife, their children, and his two Bernese Mountain Dogs. A connoisseur of fine hand-rolled cigars and even better whiskey, he spends his days crafting his next novel.

What kind of stories do you write?

I have always been drawn to sweeping epics involving massive armies, complex plots, and an enormous cast of characters. I started out with heavy influences from Tolkien (duh), Terry Brooks, and Dennis L. McKiernan. Then in the 90s, the world changed. Robert Jordan emerged, followed by George RR Martin and my all-time favorite influencer, Steven Erickson. His Malazan Book of the Fallen series is my biggest influence and a total redirection for my work. Gone are the elves and dwarves. In are complex worlds with new magic systems, new races, and still the sprawling armies. 

Can you describe your writing why?

Beats me why! I figure I’ll go crazy if I don’t get these thoughts and stories out of my head. My uncle is a famous author and historian. I started writing early but joined the Army and put it on the back burner. It wasn’t until I was nearing the end of my career that I decided to make it a go. I wrote a few books while deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan and the train took off. Now, with almost 25 books out, I find my greatest joy or motivation is seeing a complete stranger comment on how they like/love my books. Totally humbling!

Share with us your favourite passage from the book you enjoyed writing the most


The Bloody Man stood in crimson splendor. A miracle of the impossible. He had continuously bled for over a thousand years after flensing his body of flesh to protest the ignorance of his two brothers. A massive twelve foot sculpture of madness. Ever the youngest, Sorrow wept for better days. 

 Ah’muf dropped to his knees and bowed low. “My lord, Sorrow.”

Eliza’s reaction was different. Old memories returned upon seeing him again. She knew he was the architect of all the wrongs in her life, shaping her direction from early childhood. No memory was stronger, for a pain so grave never fades, as seeing the blood covered giant slaughter everyone in her village. Equally confusing was his apology thereafter. 

“Bloody Man,” she ground out. “I assumed you had abandoned me again.”

He cocked his head and studied her with thoughtful expression. “I do not know why I chose you those many years ago. Like so many of your kind you lack the patience to wait for matters to unfold, thus limiting your ability to foresee the future unfold. A shame. You hold so much potential.”

Under Tattered Banners - A Forgotten Gods Tale #5.


Tell us about your latest project

I’m going all out with this one. It’s not my latest book, but the beginning of a massive adventure I’m only halfway through. It’s called Dreams of Winter: A Forgotten Gods Tale #1. The story is complex but the gist is humanity has taken control of the universe in the absence of the gods. 3000 years after a civil war that destroyed the gods the 700 worlds in the universe are governed by the Conclave and its Cardinals. They are supported by the militaristic Prekhauten Guards and enforced by the Inquisition. The story takes off with the escape of the most dangerous villain in history- the wicked son of the king of the gods- and it sets the stage for the opening rounds of a civil war. I am currently working on book 5 of a planned 9 in the series. Each one comes out between 600-700 pages and it unlike anything I have ever done.

What is your favourite cake?

I’m more of a pie kind of guy, but I get down with a good slice of red velvet or German chocolate. 


Thanks, Christian - I always count a sweet pie as cake lol. You can connect with Christian and find out more about his books here:


Join me next week when Tim Walker returns!

If you would like to take part in A Slice of Cake With... please fill in the form found here. I'd be delighted to have you.

You can also support my writing endeavours and buy me tea & cake - it's what makes the world go round!  


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find all her books on Amazon. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Tuesday, 2 June 2020

Tuesday poem - Yoga

Stretch and breathe
Inhale
Exhale
And relax into the move
Let the world's worries slide off your downward dog
As lift your tailbone

Start the Sun A with a beautiful flowing bend
Then move sinuously into half plank, down dog, up dog
Don't forget to breathe
In through the nose
And exhale through the mouth

Jump your feet forward
Stand up to chair
And wrap left under right for eagle
.
.
.
Wait, what?

If you, like me, have been looking for some movement
Then a bit of yoga might seem like the best thing to do
It's gentle and flowing and calming and lovely
Until suddenly you're wrapped up like a pretzel
And the only reason you are holding your toes
Is because your children saw an opportunity to 'help'

Breathe in, breathe out
Try to let go of some of that other
It's never too late to bend and stretch
It must be doing something
Because I'll be back again tomorrow


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find all her books on Amazon. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.

Monday, 1 June 2020

When do the grown-ups arrive?

I have spent a lot of my adult life half-expecting that hand on the shoulder and a wise and venerable voice telling me, 'We've got it from here.' 

I mean... I'm not an adult. The fact that I turn 39 this year, am married with a mortgage, two kids and a job is by-the-by. I don't feel like my mind has fully evolved into adultness - whatever that actually is!

The proper grown-ups know what to do. They keep calm in a crisis. They have the answers. They don't spend most of their days in swirly whirlpool mode trying not to show that they haven't got a scooby about anything.

Lockdown has made me feel this sensation even more. Soon, someone is going to come along with a broom and sweep it all up, give us a brisk telling off and ask us what we have learnt. Right?

One of the biggest hurdles in overcoming the concept that you are the grown-up in this or any scenario is the realisation that you are the wise and venerable voice. At least you are to your children, possibly your husband, maybe some of your friends and more than likely a few people at work. They are looking to you to tell them that everything is alright.

I struggle with questions I can't answer. For example what is your favourite book is a mind blank, mouth open, heart pounding answer stopper because I haven't read all the books yet so how can I possibly tell you what my favourite is? And yes I realise the impossibility of that statement but it's how I feel when you ask me those kinds of questions. 

So I can't tell you with any degree of certainty that everything is going to be alright and it scares the wotsits out of me. And covering that up convincingly seems to be what being an adult is all about. 


Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find all her books on Amazon. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.