The Reluctant Teacher

There are a few teachers in my family and it's often been said that I should've been a teacher. Apparently, I have qualities. Indeed, in my previous life, I did, in fact, teach adults - IT and employability skills as well as NVQ assessing in Admin and IT. Even now I run Buss's Book Surgeries for Pen to Print to share what I've learnt so far on my author journey.

But teaching children for me was always a no-no. I have absolutely no desire to spend all day in a classroom with 30-odd kids no matter whether they are teeny's or teenagers. To be honest, I'm not sure which is worse.

Then lockdown happened.

And now I'm a teacher. Thankfully only for one and a half children. My little girl is only two so she does some things with us but she's not quite up for writing short stories using differential nouns and bossy verbs.

A class of one should be an easy task then.

Only it's not. My son is on the spectrum as well as having some fine motor control issues and I knew he was having difficulty with some aspects of school but I didn't have the first-hand experience of a) watching him struggle and b) trying to teach him. It's so hard.

I think it's actually soul-destroyingly hard for both of us. It's been suggested that I just don't bother but I'm not sure that's the best plan. Having a routine helps my boy know where he is and what he should be doing. Not being at school with his teachers or friends is strange although the longer lockdown continues the more used to it he becomes. That worries me for what going back to school will be like but that's a problem for another day.

The other thing that is hard is picking through the set work from school, the helpful links sent by friends and traversing the million and one online resources that are available. I am swimming in 'stuff' that we could do but trying to tailor it to my son's thought pattern is tough. He just doesn't think like I do.

I'm getting there though. We've worked out a reasonably satisfactory scenario - I feel like he's doing something, he hates every minute of it and every day a couple of sums are beaten into submission and at least one sentence is written from start to finish with semi-legible letters.

We will continue to battle our way through daily Maths and English. Every time I tell him we have to write something it's like he has a small breakdown and it's all I can do to keep his bum on the very uncomfortable kitchen chair.

Plus I have to try to not get cross. I have some patience but screaming children, a very small flat, no garden, a dairy intolerance (no chocolate!!) and the constant parent guilt of not getting it right means I get more cross than not.

If I stop trying to homeschool him then I worry he will fall further behind and the leap for him into KS2 from September onwards will be an even bigger chasm to cross. So each school day I set my alarm, try to get up with a smile and begin again. That's really all any of us can do.

Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet, completely addicted to cake. Find all her books on Amazon. Join the discussion in her Facebook group Buss's Book Stop.