Positively negatory

I think I am probably the best defeatist out there.  There's no-one like me for lamenting that the glass is gone let alone half empty, I truly struggle sometimes to keep the old mop top above water.  Today's wailing and gnashing of teeth was for the entire everything.  I was fuelled up and angry all day long.

I was angry at the alarm clock, angry at the snooze button, angry at getting up, angry at sleeping, angry at having a shower in the morning not the evening, angry at eating breakfast, angry at the weather, angry at the pile of things still to do and that's before I'd even set foot out of the door.  I think you get the general gist of the rage.

It lasted for better part of the whole day at which point anger gave way to desolation, tears and can't.  That word that optimists say doesn't exist.  I feel like I think Princess Buttercup must have felt when she fell into the quicksand pit in the fire swamp - sinking, sinking, sinking, unable to breathe, move or save myself.  I need my Dread Pirate Roberts to swoop in and save the day.  Which he inevitably does - praise be.  But unfortunately it doesn't shake the positively negatory hardwiring that kicks in from time to time.  When there is no point to anything and everything is pointless.  Why get up, why try, why breathe, why bother.

Operation F.I.D has created this huge pressure point - although I am aware and accept there must be other reasons for the why - and it is, I think, the main catalyst for the latest quicksand sinkhole.  Words with bridezilla (kidding x) have given this underachieving grasshopper an out clause which I feel sure we'll need.  I can't even begin to breathe easy yet.  And time, that tick tocker, that cheeky little blighter which continues to just slide on by without a by your leave runs away even further and that internal to-do monologue gets longer and longer and louder and louder.

Operation F.I.D wobble

When I realised that it was 20 pounds in 10 weeks I did panic and I must have subliminally panicked and gone into shutdown mode because since that fabulous acknowledgement I've wobbled and stuttered a bit with Operation F.I.D.

A trip to the parentals was meant to include various floor work exercises but that never quite happened however I did manage a run in the sun - I'm not sure that hefting travelling bags around counts as burning calories so Monday and Tuesday were meant to be big days in the exercising world.  And then my big toe went septic and then I dropped the hoover on my foot and then I didn't eat brilliantly well so it's all gone a bit down hill.  The scales say +1 which isn't exactly the right direction I'm meant to be heading in.

Now yesterday was my birthday so because of that wonderful event I had a huge piece of cake from Choccywoccydoodah.  It was sooooo rich that we had an intense sugar overload, thank heavens we didn't actually buy a whole cake - it would have killed us and most definitely scuppered Operation F.I.D.  I think all in we walked about 4 miles possibly 5 at the max so why do my legs hurt sooooooooooooooooo much??  No dinner hopefully offset the cake and the 5 mile hiking in strappy sandals hopefully burnt enough calories to keep the old metabolism chugging.

And so it is with a weary heart that I plan the rest of this weeks escapades in the hope that I can a) eat more betterer (my spelling not theirs) and 2) get some burn in.  Cycling to work tomorrow and Friday, Fit to Fite (their spelling not mine) and Balance tomorrow and a swim on Friday plus Step & Pump on Saturday before beer fest with CCP.  Hmmmmm.  Think there might be something wrong with that Operation F.I.D picture but it's OK because next week is a new week and I'll have 9 weeks to lose 21 pounds aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!  Nothing like an unachievable goal to get the heart pumping!

Veg-box tastic!

I decided to try it again.  Years ago I received a veg box from a local farm and had great fun checking out the seasonal veg, comparing with my mum and passing on the salad.  However there was the maggot incident.  I cannot put that into words.  Needless to say the veg box scheme was cancelled.  Until now.

Week 2 of the mini fruit-veg-meat box for 1-2 people and I don't think we've eaten this well in weeks.  There have been vegetables of unusual descent and I'm afraid the summer greens experiment didn't go well and I shall be passing on the bag of salad leaves but on the whole I'm very happy.  Seasonal eating is something we have lost the hang of despite the increase in enthusiasm for allotmenting and growing your own, it's all too easy to pop to the shops and get out of season strawberries as hard as rocks and completely tasteless in December - most of us don't even know the growing season for half the things we put into our mouths.

Don't get me started on meat.  I dread to think what goes into cheap meat, what conditions those animals are kept in and how much damage sub-standard intake does for our bodies.  The cave-man lived a much more vegetarian lifestyle then we might imagine with emphasis on seasonal fruits, veggies and nuts.  The introduction of milk is a relatively recent addition to our diet and one that the human body has yet to evolve to properly hence the high levels of lactose intolerant peeps.  The same can be said of wheat - we are just not made to digest it.

Luckily for Operation F.I.D eating seasonal fruit, vegetables and organic meat is not only better for the body but also good for the waistline and a weekly refill means that we are less likely to eat junk when we have great food readily available for cooking.  The other important tool is to never, ever, ever say 'I'm on a diet'.  That word instantly brings the inner child out who jumps up and down and screams and screams and screams until we take it away.  I tread softly these days.

http://www.riverford.co.uk/

Fighting the B.O.G.O.F

Lunchtime is both a blessing and a curse.  Usually the morning has scrambled your brain enough to make you want to take a break, stretch your legs and get a breath of fresh air but here is where you can fall into dangerous eating traps.  Luckily for me there are mostly dirty fried chicken and curry shops near where I work - none of these are particularly tempting to me and the delicious Chinese takeaway usually doesn't open until around 2pm or whenever he feels like it.

The main food options for me are Tesco and Sainsburys - two of the biggest supermarkets in the UK.  The King and Queen of special offers like 6 doughnuts for 50p, multipacks of crisps at half price, biscuits, chocolate, bulk buy, super save, buy one get one free, three for two, save, save, save, eat, eat, eat.  For a mere fiver you can get a bag full of MSG, trans fats and more ingredients you can't pronounce then those you can.  Yet when you try to buy a healthy option it can cost you twice as much but it's harder to buy individual items.  I'm not sure why healthy food is always two or three times the price of unhealthy food or that supermarkets only stock large packs of items and not individual servings.  You'd think they would realise there was a market for individual portions of popular items.

Now I know you may throw salad bowls into my face but I direct you to the title of my blog.

It's tricky to resist these shiny offers in large supermarkets designed to suck you in to buying rubbish but I am pleased to report that day 2 of Operation F.I.D involved a trip to buy..... milk!  Yes, you heard it here first - just milk, no junk.  I was very impressed with my self control.  Put that together with a 12 mile bike ride, a Zumba session and high impact Step class and I'm thinking the balance may still be in the negative.  And then all that is left to do is make my lunch yummy enough that I forget the lure of the shiny shops and feel happy with my packed items. 

Day 1....

Even as I say that I can hear the Big Brother voice in my head...

So it's day 1 of Operation F.I.D and I've only been thinking about biscuits every 9 seconds in 10 - no, not really.  I jest with you.  It's actually not been that bad today but then first days are usually ok and I did have some ice cream.  Now I realise you must be thinking how does ice cream factor into Operation F.I.D.  Well it's very simple.  If you don't have a little indulgence now and then all you are eating is celery sticks with no enjoyment for the palate.  Flavours and textures and tastes are important, variety is the spice of life as we always say and the same goes for the food you eat - it's been proven that the more variety you eat the better off you will be.  And that doesn't mean all 26 variety of chocolate bar, it means colours of fruit and veggies and types of whole grains, beans and pulses.

I digress.  Food-wise I reckon calorie intake was *drum-roll* about 1700 ish - I am guestimating here but thet's ok, anything less than 2000 is a burn.  Plus I was hungry bored.  I dislike boredom, not for the mind-dumbing despair it brings but for the inevitable hand to mouth motion it attracts with crisps, nuts, popcorn ad infinitum. 

Exercise wise I cycled to work and home again - jiggity jig which is 12 miles plus an extra bit for cycling from GoodGym home.  That's about 1000 calories burnt according to my online calculator which is currently churning out numbers I like so it's accurate and wonderful and lovely.  I also ran 5k split into two halves.  GoodGym is .... good.. And I hate that I can't find another adjective but I tire and I'm struggling to get the vocabulary to finish this sentence let alone the post.  Anyway.... more digression.  GG rocks and I'm getting better as I wasn't at the back slowing everyone down and there was no walking and there was talking and gasping for air which is what anyone else will be doing when they try to read this inordinately long sentence with no punctuation!  lol

So day 1 was good.  The in and outs were at worst balanced, at best slightly in the negatory which is what we want.  All I have to do now is sweat through Step tomorrow and convince myself that going to see Magic Mike on Wednesday is a work out - nudge nudge, wink wink!!

Operation F.I.D

Bridesmaid have a tricky role.  They support the bride and complement the look of the whole event.  This means that the dress has to be a carefully chosen item - one that matches all the colours, the styles, the 'feel' of the big day.  A bridesmaid needs to look snazzier than the guests but not as bloomin' as the bride and so the buy-the-bridesmaid-dress day is pretty important.

It's essential to have a plan of action, to know your palette and have a clear picture in your mind of what you want to achieve.  And then the bridesmaids themselves need to accept that they have no real say over the dress - a bride holds all the power, and rightly so when it is her special day.  Sometimes a bride can deliberately overshadow her maids by choosing something that makes them look particularly unattractive.  Some brides stick to their colour palette like a snail on a wall, refusing to budge when colours don't match skin tones or hair.  Some brides are determined to dress their maids in a style that they like regardless of whether the maid's body shape actually conforms.  This grasshopper was intensely lucky.  Her bride said - any colour, any style - whatever you want.  And so to the shopping.

Keeping an open mind is key, allowing the bride to choose what to try and what not occurred.  But you know that the right dress has been found when both maids appear and the bride wells up.  Tears are an integral part of weddings.  There is still the matter of shoes and accessories but for the most part, the big deal has been dealt and all is well with the world.  Except for Operation F.I.D (fit in dress).  There was a slight query as to whether to go for the bigger size or the smaller size especially when exercising and weight loss is still on the cards and nuptials are still several months away.  In the end the smaller size was chosen - leading to possible pressure and tense moments ahead - the zip only closes half way.  But what is life if without goals?