'Well, I put mine up last month.'
'I never took my down from last year.'
'I've already made my Christmas cake, Christmas pudding, mincemeat and seventeen other delicacies only eaten this time of year.'
'I've imported only the finest ingredients for my Christmas feast and have a hamper being delivered on Christmas Eve with the very best the festive season can supply.'
'Well, I've already made Christmas dinner, freeze dried it and sent it up to the International Space Station so they can eat a meal that's truly out of this world.'
'I've already written and sent all my Christmas cards.'
'Oh, we aren't doing Christmas cards this year. We are making a charitable donation and then using every possible social media platform to let everyone know about it.'
'Well we are visiting everyone personally to sign carols at their door.'
'We've bought our child the same action figure in six different colours.'
'That's nothing, we bought the entire second floor of Hamleys for our six month old child.'
'I hear what you're saying but we tracked down Santa himself and have him working in our basement on a series of truly original toys for our child. It mean he misses delivering presents to everyone else but we're so self absorbed we're totally fine with it.'
It seems that Christmas mania and the desire to out-do everyone else is running rampant this year. Or perhaps it's because this is the poorest I've been this festive season. Or maybe because I have my little monster and I'm feeling the pressure (rightly or wrongly) that I haven't bought him the latest anything. I just want to enjoy Christmas like I used to when I was a little monster. With that in mind I am trying very hard not to get too sucked into the blatant capitalism fest December has begun.
I also dislike all the memes etc I've seen telling us to get into the Christmas spirit and be present, giving and loving without spending a fortune. It feels like I'm being told how to behave, that is something I feel I have the write to decide for myself. Besides, if the internet is telling me to act a certain way for the benefit of my soul perhaps it's in more danger than I thought. And yes I appreciate that Christmas should be a christian celebration of faith but that message got lost a long time ago - fair play to those of you who do attend church on the 25th December.
I hope we get to spend a stress free couple of days with family and celebrate being together, regardless of how packed the stocking is or how many different types of stuffing were made. Oh and Santa? I've been good - honest!