Having just had cross words, raised hackles, laser beam eyes and huffs that could rival the wolf - perhaps now isn't the best moment to talk about the other half. On the other hand, is there really a better time.
Yes he makes me mad, yes he drives me up the wall, yes at times I want to jump and down on his head (kidding!) but I feel quite sure that I make him want to do all that and more. Its because we love each other that we can get so cross at each other. If you can't be bothered to be mad or you think that it's just not worth your time then I fear the passion has gone.
I met my hubby online, five years ago this autumn. We didn't meet face-to-face until December and I remember thinking he was so little and so smiley and my goodness isn't his head cold??? It was freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing cold and we went to the funfair so all those whippy rides made the air feel even colder. I'm fairly sure we were icicles by the time we decided to seek refuge in the pub. From that moment on I've never looked back. It is so easy to be with him. I can be my fully neurotic self and even though he doesn't understand why I flip out when cups aren't put back exactly where they came from he doesn't mind the fact that I lost my shit about it.
Mostly. I mean the man is a saint but there are limits.
We recently got married. I now have two of the most happiest days of my life. Well maybe three. Or possibly more. There is a lot of happiness to choose from since we've been together. One thing our guests commented on was how ridiculously happy the two of us looked and when life stops getting in the way, that's pretty much how we feel most of the time. But the soul crushing wheels of life never stop turning and at times it can be hard to feel good about anything at all.
That's when my man shines brightest. That's why I get up in the mornings and begin it all over again. I don't give him nearly enough credit for how awesome he is but I try, all the time I try. Every day I say I'm going to be more for him, for us. Being a stay-at-home mum isn't much fun for my hubby as not only does he shoulder all the bread winning but he has to put up with me speaking a mile a minute when he comes in the door because I haven't spoken to another grown up all day and then getting cross when he doesn't remember what I said to him.
I'm not very good at romance or ooey-gooey stuff. The more stressed and tired I get, the further I shut down and the less like a human being I become. Every meal I make says I love you. Every cake baked, every bed made with fresh sheets, every stroke of the head, every cup of tea I forget to make, every time I call you just to hear your voice. It all says I love you. Every time I get cross and snipe. Every jeez. Every trevor (in joke). Every single crooked finger. I love you. And I'm afraid to say that you're stuck with me to the very end. And what an end we shall make.