Friday, 18 March 2011

Nothing to wear

Tomorrow is a big day.  It's a huge day.  It's a day to eclipse all days that came before and those that will follow afterwards.  A day of importance, of solemnity, of Chinese food - it's big people.  It's the day my Mum meets the new man and I have nothing to wear.

This is the problem with losing weight, if anything you become even more body conscious then you were before and all those big baggy clothes that you used to schlep around in and threw out in a fit of 'I'm skinny now' are no longer lurking at the back of the wardrobe waiting to for you to drape yourself in their vastness so you can hide.  So what to wear?  Those new clothes that you bought are still feeling a bit tight, a bit clingy, a bit ooh er missus and I'm not sure whether they should be worn in public (if at all) so perhaps jeans is the way forward.

But you don't really have the figure for jeans because you are between sizes (which is what you keep telling everyone) so the ones you have at the moment are saggy in the butt area and you are constantly hitching them up in a terribly ladylike manner and the hem at the bottom is all raggedy and torn but you know.. they are jeans.  Still.. it's a big day.  Will jeans really cut it?  Plus you have to wear a t-shirt and you've lost your Karate Kid t-shirt (who stole it??) so that means you have to go with either 'meh' or Back to the Future -both valid life choices but honestly you do look a bit scruffy and aren't you a bit old to be lounging around in tatty old jeans and t-shirts?  OMG I just had my first almost 30 panic attack....and breathe... and breathe.

Ok, ok so jeans are out.  Wear trousers and a jumper, like you do for work, so you look like you are at least 10 years older then you actually are and you feel like you are going to work - that place that you try to avoid even when you are there.  No, no, I'm not sure that the formal look is going to work.  Sequins?  NO.  Short - NO!  Come on now, it's not that difficult - you are meeting your mother, who you have known your entire life, with your new man in tow.  Crivens!  Ok, ok, think, think - weight loss has been slow lately, unlikely that you've magically slimmed down to the next size overnight plus there was that custard tart...mmmm - hey - focus!  Right - big day, nothing to wear.

So, here's a crazy idea - go shopping for something new, today, the day before the big day.  On your lunch break, which is only an hour, on Regent Street/Oxford Street, which is right besides your work and extremely expensive.  You picked that money up didn't you?  D'oh!  Hmmmmmm - do you know what?  I think it's time for a cup of tea and dang it all a biscuit, clothes are clothes, they don't make the person and your mum and your fella love you just the way you are!

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